Deciding to be a Bachaelor

I wrote about living alone earlier, but the decision to remain unmarried began fairly early in my life.  Naturally, it started with someone I admire.

Living Alone

I live alone.  I've never been married, and at my age I don't see myself ever getting married.  I suppose one never knows, but I can't imagine the woman who would share 1,500 of living space with me and not end up on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper.

Home Improvement

The house in Columbus is slowly coming together, and it doesn't look like a 27 car pileup on I-75 during an ice storm.  My problem is that I have a galley kitchen, which is a polite way of saying that there is room for one, and only one, chef, and it would be best if the chef were slim and flexible instead of being old and fat.

Why Me?

I'm more than a little exhausted from moving to my new home in Columbus and trying to clean out the family estate in Sylvania.  Last Friday I schlepped my parents' fine harness show buggy to a consignment shop in Louisville, KY, then was too tired to make the drive back to Sylvania.  I ended up staying in Columbus and driving back the next day.  I'm beat.

And so, you see, I had a little incident with breakfast this morning.  It's my habit to wash my dishes by hand, then put them in the dishwasher for rinsing and drying.  The abrasive soap in the dishwasher being hard on the dishes and cookware, you see.  This morning I popped open the dishwasher and retrieved my favorite cast iron skillet, spatula, and coffee cup.  I proceeded to make myself my standard breakfast of bacon and eggs, toast and coffee.  Everything had a slightly odd flavor to it, but being half comatose I ate it anyway.  In truth, my sense of taste has been permanently altered by chemo and radiation therapy, so nothing tastes quite the same as it used to, but as I write this I have a very bad aftertaste in my mouth that reminds me of badly used dishwater.

There's every chance in the world that I washed the dishes, put them in the dishwasher and failed to turn the blasted thing on.

On another front, two kind souls gave me a gift certificate to Amazon and a cash Visa card, respectively, and now I can't find either card.  I must have put them somewhere for safe keeping, which means they'll turn up sometime in June.  Worse, I can't find the charger for my camera and I desperately need to photograph some items in the house so I can fail to sell them on eBay, which means I'll have to buy another charger on Amazon, and this will give me a total of four separate chargers for my camera, three of which are lost.  Or misplaced.

Why me?

Move Update: December 21, 2016

I'll re-read this years from now for a few laughs.  Or not...

Fox Relocation - Excellent Job!

Recipe: Traditional Eggnog

My friend and fellow author John B. Meilink mentioned that he's never had eggnog.  To help him along his way, I'm publishing my dear old mother's secret recipe for delicious, homemade eggnog - which is the complete opposite of the chemically altered contagion anyone can buy in the store.

WWII Newsreel Featuring Bill Emery

My father served in the US Coast Guard during the second world war.  He didn't like it much, the environment either being too hot or too cold, with Spartan accommodations.  For basic training he was stationed at the Ponce de Leon Hotel in St. Augustine, Florida.  When I visited St. Augustine (I lived in Jacksonville, FL), I once took a tour that included the renowned Ponce de Leon.  When the tour guide pontificated about the luxuries of the Ponce, I thoroughly confounded her by announcing that my father had stayed at the Ponce and found it oppressively hot and overcrowded, and the room service that was so poor no one used it.  While our guide was sputtering, I mentioned that the U.S. Government had paid for the entire stay, including meals and a host of activities.  I added that my father told me that the food was terrible, the worst he'd ever had, and the activities were even worse than the food.  I had the tour group's interest by that time, and completed my impromptu lecture by stating that the worst part about his entire stay was that they had some nut that would get up before dawn and blow a trumpet, waking everyone up.

The China Cabinet

When I moved into my new condominium, I knew that I'd need a china cabinet.  Fortunately for me, I found just the thing on Craig's List in Toledo. Between me, Frank, and a host of aged manual laborers from Bethany Community Fellowship church, we got the cabinet into a U-Haul truck, carted it from Perrysburg back to Sylvania, and from there down to Columbus.  Unloading it was just as much fun as Frank and John could stand for one day - Frank said his fun meter was pegged out for the week, and John didn't care to see the cabinet again.

John, the Curio Cabinet, and Frank

I'm blessed to have Frank and John, because without their help none of this would have ever happened.

Surprise at Home

Since I'm moving (Sylvania to Columbus) one load at a time, I have to spend a certain amount of time in Sylvania packing up.  When I get a load of boxes packed, I get a U-Haul truck, load it up, drive to Columbus the next day, unload, return the truck to U-Haul, and drive back to Sylvania again.  The only reason this schedule is possible is because of Frank and John Fischer, both of whom do the lion's share of the actual heavy lifting.  Last time, that portion was most of the entire load, and they worked like government mules to get the truck unloaded.

Found on My Door at Misty Way in Columbus

During the time I'm in Sylvania, mail and other messages tend to pile up in Columbus. I found this little gem taped to my front door last Saturday.  Nice, huh?

Being a civic minded, helpful sort of person, I called Asend Recovery and learned that they were trying to contact the previous resident of my condo.  I explained that I'd just bought the place, and that while I lacked a forwarding address for the previous owner, I did have a telephone number.  Asend Recovery explained that they were in the same shape I was, knowledge-wise, and that the target of their investigation was proving to be somewhat uncooperative regarding voice mail messages and requests to call them back.  I'm somewhat sympathetic, but I'm of no practical help.

I called Deputy Bailiff J.D. Foster and left a message.  Ms. Foster returned my call, was very pleasant and thanked me for my help.  I went through my explanation again, and was reassured that I would no longer be bothered by their office, nor did I have to worry about bad people showing up at my door at odd hours of the morning due to the previous resident's shenanigans, whatever they might be.

Somehow, I don't think I've heard the last of this. 

Insomnia

It's 4:00 AM EST, and I can't sleep.  I've got a ton of stuff to accomplish tomorrow, and being fuzzy headed all day is not going to help.  I'm beginning to think I should pay my favorite witch doctor a visit and see what he has to say.

Dancing on Halloween (2016)

Ellen was in town last night, so we decided to get some dinner and then go dancing.  Dinner was at Ciao!, an excellent Italian restaurant located at Monroe Street and US 23.  I had scallops and Ellen had white fish; both were outstanding.

Matt Miller had a Halloween costume party at his studio, which was excellent fun.  Here's the evening in a dozen photos or less.

The Dance Clinic

The Dance Clinic on Facebook

10 South Holland Sylvania Rd

Toledo, Ohio 43615

(Hill Ave in the Martin School Bld, Top Floor)

(419) 654-8650

Email: TheDanceClinic@gmail.com

Matt Miller, owner/operator

Our Host, Matt Miller

As you can see, Matt is having an identity crises combined with a bad hair day.

Here's a nice couple we met at the party.  I happened to have my camera, and they wanted a souvenir photo.  Here you go, guys!  Regretfully, I didn't get their names, for which I apologize.

My Ellen, Looking Quite Ravishing

Ellen and I

No Caption

We had a great time and we're looking forward to Matt's next party.

The End of the Ballroom Matter

As some of you know, I attended the grand opening of Toledo Ballroom in Sylvania, OH on Saturday, which resulted in the owner/operator Kent Lautzenheiser sending me an email Sunday, stating that I think that it's in the best interest of our students, our staff, and the studio that you no longer attend our events and parties at Toledo Ballroom. I wrote about it here, Thrown Out of the Bar - Or Ballroom.  I've been out of town for the past few days, and haven't had time to deliver a considered response.

Since then I've had a lot of support from my friends, expressing their surprise, shock and outrage at Kent's unwarranted action. I'm also given to understand that I'm not the only one Kent has treated this way, which in hindsight is not really surprising.

First of all, I thank all my friends for their support. Their opinions, advice, and kind words mean a great deal, and are a real blessing to me. Thank all of you very much for your support.

As for the insufferable Kent Lautzenheiser, I refuse to allow him to rent space in my head. The man could have come to me in person, but instead he sent me an email message. That labels him a coward. Then there's the fact that he invited me to his grand opening, welcomed me in person, and thanked me for coming. That makes him duplicitous, to put it politely.

I suppose I could continue this diatribe, but instead I'll be satisfied to give him the same treatment a dog gives a fire hydrant. Kent Lautzenheiser is his own worst enemy. His aberrant behavior will eventually catch up to him, and he'll go bankrupt and quietly fade away.

My only real concern is that Kent will treat others the same way he treated me. When that happens, I hope the victim will know that he (or she) is in good company, and won't waste time or energy feeling rejected.  Instead, give Kent the same treatment I'm giving him.

My other concern is that I wouldn't want anyone to think that I'm the sort of person who would just stop showing up at a regular venue without so much as a see-you-later. I'm not, and I shall miss seeing all of you very much. I'm in the process of moving to Columbus, Ohio, where I've been assured I'll be made welcome at the studios and dance clubs there.

Naturally, I don't recommend Toledo Ballroom to my friends or family. There are several alternatives which offer quality dance instruction and a more congenial atmosphere:

The Dance Clinic
The Dance Clinic on Facebook
10 South Holland Sylvania Rd
Toledo, Ohio 43615
(Hill Ave in the Martin School Bld, Top Floor)
(419) 654-8650
Email: TheDanceClinic@gmail.com
Matt Miller, owner/operator

Paulette's Studio of Dance
Paulette's Studio of Dance on Facebook
4853 Monroe Street, Building B
Toledo, OH 43623
(419) 654-3262
Email: info@dancetoledo.com
Paulette, owner/operator

The Ballroom Company
The Ballroom Company on Facebook
2319 Detroit Ave
Maumee, Ohio
(419) 893-1850
Email: TheBallroomCo@sbcglobal.net
Gil Aromas, owner/operator


Alfredo's Studio of Dance
Alfredo's Studio of Dance on Facebook
5224 Renwyck Dr
Toledo, Ohio
(419) 536-3243
Email: dance4me_alfredo@yahoo.com
Alfredo Horna, owner/operator

I've know all these people for years, some for more years than either of us care to remember, and all offer good quality instruction at a reasonable price.

Thrown Out of the Bar - Or Ballroom

Getting right to the point, this post is about:

Toledo Ballroom

6365 Monroe Street

Sylvania, OH 43560

(419) 690-3897

(Located in the same shopping plaza as Little Caesars)

Owned and operated by Kent Lautzenheiser (Nash)

I worked at Toledo Ballroom from January 1, 2016 through June 19, 2016. I taught group classes, and generally enjoyed it.  The students all said they enjoyed it, and they seemed to learn.  Then on June 23, 2016, I received an email from Kent (the owner) that stated, in part:

I feel that it's time for you to "hang up you hat" as far a being a dance instructor at Toledo Ballroom. You need to be able to enjoy yourself and not over do it. And I need to have a staff who can work a whole dance social or group class, on a consistent basis, without physically having a hard time making it through the event.

Fine. I'm relocating to Columbus anyway, and I have good days and better days health-wise. Besides, it's his studio, and if he doesn't want me to work for him, that's his decision.

In the intervening months, Kent moved his studio from Reynolds Rd to its current location on Monroe St., about ten minutes away from me.  I attended a few Wednesday night practice parties there, and was always made welcome.

Last Saturday (10/15/16) was Kent's grand opening, which was open to the public. I attended, danced with everyone, and both Kent and his mother Judy welcomed me when I arrived and thanked me for coming when I left at the end of the evening.  Everyone was quite congenial.

This morning I found this little gem in my email, as sent at 11:49 PM Sunday night:

Hello Bill. After much consideration, I think that it's in the best interest of our students, our staff, and the studio that you no longer attend our events and parties at Toledo Ballroom. We thank you for your help in teaching for us in the past, but we feel that with you attending our events now, there is a definite conflict of interest. We would appreciate [it] if [you would] respect our decision and enjoy your dancing at the many other venues in the Toledo area. Thank You, and we wish you the best.
Kent Lautzenheiser-Nash

Perhaps I've offended someone, certainly unintentionally.  If so, I apologize for whatever offense I might have given.  As far as any conflict of interest, if there is a conflict it exists solely in Kent Lautzenheiser's somewhat neurotic imagination.

Toledo Ballroom belongs to Kent Lautzenheiser, and he's made it very clear that I'm not welcome there.  Believe me when I say that I never show up where I'm not welcome.

While clearing out the familial estate, I discovered a VHS tape that I thought was worth digitizing.  This is Bill Emery (my father) riding his all-time favorite five-gaited mare, A Worthy Penny, in the Five-Gaited Amateur Championship class at the Brown County Fair at Georgetown, Ohio.

Dad is number 12 in the class.  My mother shot the video, and the man you can hear shouting encouragement is Tommy Clouse, a professional horse trainer and close friend.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the five-gaited horse, I'll offer this: Horses will do three gaits naturally; walk, trot, and canter (gallop or run).  The natural gait for a horse when he wants to get along down the road is the trot, which is a little rough to ride.  The other two gaits are man-made, and called the rack and the slow-gait. Both of these gaits are smooth and very easy to ride.  Horses tend to rack about as fast as they can trot, and slow gait a little faster than a walk.

Dad won the class, and as he makes his victory pass you may note that he holds the reins in one hand while Penny racks.  He's showing off a bit, as the other riders would need both hands on the reins to keep their horse at a rack.

Birthday in Columbus 2016

Last Sunday (October 2^nd) was my birthday; Wednesday (October 5^th) is my brother Mike's birthday.  Naturally we tend to celebrate together, generally picking a day that's equally inconvenient for both of us.  We decided on Tuesday night, so when I finally got down to my condo in Columbus, what should I find?

A Blast From My Ballroom Past

I used to teach ballroom dancing for fun and very little profit.  Two of the nicest people you'll ever meet are Lee and Peggy Santos, who used to come to our studio and train us.  A few of us should have required a surcharge - aggravation pay, you understand.

One way or another, I found an article about Lee and Peggy in The Mountain Courier on Facebook. Here are a series of screen captures:

Painting the Condo, or The Odessy, Part 2

As promised, Frank and John returned on Saturday, September 24th, to finish painting my condominium.  If you haven't read the prequel to this incredible epic, here's some click bait for you: Painting the Condo, or The Odessy, Part 1. Although I truly believe the majority of readers will have the sense to just read Part 1 anyway, not everyone does.

I went out dancing with a good friend of mine on Friday night, and drove down to Columbus on Saturday, arriving well after Frank and John, who were already hard at work.  The good news started right away.

1868 Misty Way

Painting the Condo, or The Odessy, Part 1

On Sunday, September 18^th, I went over to The Home Depot (3200 Secor Rd, Toledo, OH) to get a few paint samples. I'm going to have my condo painted, and my chief concern is paint selection. I have the innate sense of color coordination that one generally finds in a Russian bordello; Ergo, my plan is to buy some sample colors that I optimistically think will coordinate well together, then try them out and see if I'm still psychotic or if the medication has finally kicked in. I'm somewhat cheered by the fact that whatever I do, it won't be as bad as the former tenets, who put this monstrosity on the wall of the master bedroom, and then painted the place in some weird color not found in nature (or Sherwin Williams).

There and Back Again, An Arduous Trip

I spent the last couple days in Columbus, and a harder, more arduous trip I haven't had since my younger brother screwed up the directions in Northern Wisconsin and I drove all night to get us home.  I started hallucinating at the end of the Wisconsin trip.

Ohio Scenery

Late Night, Friday Night, Private Party

Being in the mood for a little drinking and dancing, and the Avenue Bistro having a small dance floor and a live band, I felt the opportunity for some much needed R&R was clearly at hand.  To make a perfect evening, I managed to entice Marlene Ward to join me.

Avenue Bistro

Music was provided by the musician/disc jockey DJ M-Sax, who I'd never heard before, but who has a very nice repertoire of jazz music, both Latin and Smooth.

DJ M-Sax

Marlene got several compliments on her dancing, and one lady was so impressed that she bought us a round of drinks.  It doesn't get much better than that.

Today I'm supposed to be packing, but I'm feeling a little beat.  Let's see how much I actually get done.